The Vault: Morituri te Salutant -- Those about to die, we twihard Part 3: Ars Morendi Part 2 (Chapter 8-15)
Chapter Eight: Ah starting with a continuation of the last chapter... Something I've noticed in my previous writing that no longer follows through now: back when I was writing on Mibba/FP/Inkpop/etc. I did a lot where I would cliffhang each chapter... Often times, this cliffhanger ending would chop the chapter up. This seriously bugs me now (I'm so sorry readers past, present and future.). Now, Cliffhangers aren't bad when done correctly. Mine weren't done correctly.
Anyway, Em pulls everyone from the school in a matter of days (week? I don't know even I can't tell how long they have been in Alaska as I haven't given a definitive timeline. This is also kind of necessary for an author. A timeline helps the author keep track of what's going on and when in your novel. It doesn't matter if your novel is over the course of a week (Like Hex Hall) or several years (HP, LotR, etc), it'll help you keep track of things.
The chapter ends with battle plans and we get a glimpse at more special powers within the Ives coven. If you're keeping track: Blythe can see the future, Aurora can read minds, Elsie can manipulate shadows and Solomon (Aurora's mate) has ability detection. So Em's battle plans are kind of confusing to me. I know it sounds weird but if the Ives are hunting the Cullens, they should be using their names not defining physical attributes.
"...they may have numbers but we have age and skill."So this is a funny statement. What doesn't follow through on FF was the character histories I made for each. Most of the Ives coven was born before 1900 and turned at or before 1901 (Blythe is the exception as she was born in 1910 and turned in 1927/8). Next week's THE VAULT may have a history part two that will detail this.
Chapter Nine: Wait... Midnight? I thought they were meeting at 9? Let me reiterate: timelines help your writing... that way you don't have awkward confusions like this. So in this chapter (and I think six?) there is a reference to some books. I think I was trying to be insightful (like SMeyer) and add some foreshadowing or something (Macbeth, Atonement, Other Boleyn Girl).
Anyway Aurora looks haggard (SMeyer's vampires never change appearance to show this other than facial movements if that; mine do and now that bleeds into this series) and some of Emily's history comes to light: she was in love with Carlisle and killed her sire in order to have him. Only thing was that he didn't love her back and abandoned her leading her to desire revenge. The Ives coven is an army to get revenge on Carlisle.
Chapter Ten: So I forgot to post this then was going through some stuff before I finally discovered it wasn't online! Oops!
Spider monkey... where have I seen that before... :| Hm... (It's fanfiction I need to stop)
'was had' haha typo. I should have seen that before. Ah whatevs. So the next chapter (eleven) I did before this one and was kind of disappointed in the fact that I did more telling instead of showing. This makes me feel a bit better about how I ended the last chapter... only a bit though.
Thinking back, I should have possibly done some flirtation between Christopher and Blythe. Would be kind of cute/interesting... but I digress.
Chapter Eleven: Hey! An actual timeline! They spend five days training... sounds familiar..? Blythe has a vision about the Volturi part way through training. Emily brings in food. They're leaving for battle at sunset.
So I feel that this chapter--like all--could be longer. For example, I do more telling as to how they're training. I'm breaking a cardinal rule of writing: show don't tell. I should have shown the vision of the Volturi, shown them fighting/training. Etc.
Chapter Twelve: Ah Emily being a 'silent movie' star and hoping to be all sexy for her twue wuv. (gag) Blythe's vision. That was how I should have SHOWED the vision in the previous chapter... Give it a bit more meat than 'we did this' and 'we did that.'
I think I was just getting lazy toward the end of this...
I like the 'Act like we're fighting' biz. Hate that all my chapters are so fucking short.
Chapter Thirteen: Christopher get's his arm ripped off. Better than his head in the last chapter. Aw shit. The truth comes out. Emily's a lying bitch.
Oh. Damn. I am really liking the fight scene with the coven ganging up on Em.
...In the blink of an eye Emily pushed Elsie away from her and lunched for Carlisle. In a lunge just as quick as hers I blocked her attack and got my own in just in time: tearing her ear from the side of ehr head. I looked at the earlobe and then to Emily whose eyes were a dark red.Okay! Alice and Blythe have another vision that ends the chapter... Blythe, Alice, didn't you already settle that you had the same ability or am I just missing something.... Well, we're almost done. Let's see how the next chapter is.
"How dare you!" She shouted and lunged at me. Her hands like claws and her teach were bared.
"That was for Sybbyl." I huffed and crouched defensively, ready for her attack. I saw a flash of fear that crossed her face before she swiped at my throat and I clawed feverishly at her hair ripping large lumps wiht my own. The NExt thing that happened was something neither of us expected: Elsie jumped into the fray. She latched onto Emily's neck with her teeth and tore off a massive chunk.
Emily turned to face Elsie. The flap of Emily's skin was still hanging from Elsie's mouth. A low growl erupted from Emily's mouth and another body flew into the fray: Christopher. As his body crashed into hers I lunched at her and tore her arm clean from her shoulder. She looked at the three of us with an expression we all recognised: fear. ...
Chapter Fourteen: Short filler? Hella yes. More telling as opposed to showing? Yes. Discussing the differences between covens? Yeah, they're speshul. Let's move on.
Chapter Fifteen: Ah they day has finally come. The Volturi are getting involved. Aro's leading the pack with Marcus at his side (and may be Caius? I don't know, I never really specified other than during the vision). Blythe shows him her ability and they talk about trying to convert the Ives coven to their cause ("...better asset [than] those of the Cullens.'").
Then we learn that Allegra is back. Wheew!
And we set up a cliffhanger for the next book in the series: the coven runs away and Allegra tells him to hold off... Man, Allegra has some pull in the Volturi or what? What the Fuck is up with that? It's her power. She is god.
Til next time!
Always,
Ali
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