The Vault: The Witching Hour

WARNING: Explicit language abounds.

So I try not to swear in public or on my blog but this edition I thought I'd let my curse filter have a break. 

Welp. It's that time again for...

But this is no ordinary version of THE VAULT. This is THE VAULT: NaNo edition. This is also a special edition seeing as I've been contemplating not scrapping these for good. I know what you're thinking: But, Ali, you said you weren't going to rewrite anything in THE VAULT! It was one of your rules!

Yeah. And rules are meant to be broken. Besides, I kind of like the idea I had here... Maybe I'll execute it differently some how. Or maybe I'll stick to my rules and scrap this piece all together... Only time will tell. Also, I've decided to actually scrap my work... with the exception of a few projects--this one included--which will stay until I've fully decided whether or not I'll actually rewrite them (or for me to read as a 'just for shits and giggles' sort of thing). 

For my first post of this edition, I'll be doing my first novel: The Witching Hour (update 8.21.16: follow along here!). To the left is the photo that I found somewhere over the vast world of the interwebs and used as a makeshift cover for the 'novel.' One of many NaNo novels that would never get finished, WH was technically a rewrite but also not a rewrite. It was a rewrite in the fashion that I had a character, Artemis, who was  a witch (I no longer have copies of the original Artemis' story). It wasn't a rewrite in the fashion that Artie had two sisters and lived in a boarding school by the name of Dark Lore, which I got the name from an album by a band I listened at the time named Nox Arcana, that housed the offspring of other supernatural creatures: Vampires, Werewolves and Witches/Warlocks. For some reason, students at Dark Lore were disappearing and it was up to Artemis Delaney (van Delon... she went through a lot of different names that switched every now and then) and her rag tag group of friends (Samhain Trouley, a love interest of Artemis and warlock; Athene, her 'younger elder' sister--middle child; Kristian Antonini, a vampire and a love interest of Artemis' elder sister, Aphrodite; and, last but not least, Jace Wolfe, a werewolf and love interest of Artemis) to find out 'who done it' all while keeping this crazed conspiracy theorist from finding out their li'l ol' secret. 

My first NaNo novel never really got that far and it started with a sort of  'introduction to the world of the Delaney/van Delon/Trouley families.' Within the second paragraph, I have one line that summed up the whole chapter:

My mother tried explaining that the Van Delon Coven and the Trouley Coven were always one: with out one, the other would perish.

For some reason, I thought it'd be more dramatic if I threw in the whole 'we've gotta protect each other or we're done for' right off the bat. Unbeknownst to me, it would sort of work in my favour (cue Effie Trinket?) as a means of foreshadowing some interesting plot twists I had planned later.

The next chapter started twelve years later at Dark Lore. In the beginning we learn that Dark Lore is on a 5k acre 'lot' on the Pacific Coast.I'm going to stop here for a bit and let that sink in: five. thousand. acres. For those of you wondering, that's about 4840 soccer/football pitches. And this is supposed to be a secret school for the supernaturally gifted. I'm sorry but a school with a five thousand acre campus wouldn't be so secret to me.

I then go into vivid detail about where the fuck everything is:

Dark Lore has five major sections, the sixth being the physical education taking up most of the western portion of the campus. The first is in the southern section of the campus holding the Health and Punishment center, the Religious sector and the Main office with the teachers’ dorms. Samhain and I spent plenty of time in the Health and Punishment center. The school decided to include religion into its campus religious students. The second is the building where most of our “joint classes” were held, which is located in the center potion of the school’s campus. Classes like: Science, Nature studies, History, Mathematics, English and various Languages. The third was to the east that was dedicated to the Vampyres and their brethren, the Lycans, were stationed in the fourth in the west in what was left over from the physical education sector. The final sector in the North was dedicated to Sorcerers, like me.

'Health and Punishment center?' Just call it the fucking 'Admin Block.' But then again, this is a my first NaNo from way back in '09 and it was implied by those return NaNo-ers to 'write badly' and 'embellish so purple you'd make a plum jealous.' Oh and this purple-prose induced info-dump doesn't end there

Each person was split into separate dorms. For Vampyres and Lycans, it was based on gender but for Sorcerers it was mainly ability and personal traits. There were four dorms: Animus, Humus, Incenda and Unda. When my sisters and the Trouley boys were enrolled in the school, we were all separated. Athene and I were in Animus while Aphrodite was placed in Unda and Aiden was placed in Humus while his brothers were both in Incenda.

You're wondering why I had 'sorcerers' special, right? Why did they get their own Harry Potter-inspired quartet houses and not their Vampyre/Lycan brethren? It's simple: I was too lazy to find enough names to create four houses for each being. If I were to rewrite this, everyone is getting just two houses: male and female.

Let's move on shall we? Yes. Let's. Artie and her best friend, Samhain, are watching the new transfers. I'm Just going to pause for a second. At the time, I had no idea 'Samhain' is pronounced 'shahvin' or 'sow-en' so I thought it was 'samhane.' And for those who are wondering: I named the Trouley family after Gaelic holidays, mythos, legends, etc. and the Delaney/van Delon familiy after Greek goddesses.

Back to the novel: Artie and Sam are watching transfers. Going to dredge up some Game of Thrones shit that is probably over used.....
Surprisingly, the first 'group' described isn't very purple:

The first that appeared was a group of about twenty possible first former sorcerers by the looks of it. Each wore cutesy outfits that their parents bought them with various placid hues of the rainbow. Two boys were tormenting a little girl who wore a lime green dress with wind.

“I wonder how fire would work.” Sam snapped his fingers and one of the boy’s hair burst into flames causing the girl in the lime green dress to beam.

“Aw!” I cooed, “I guess chivalry isn’t dead.” 

Yet the second group.....

The second was a group of seven Lycans: four boys and three girls. All looked to be generally the same age and year. Each went about their business talking amongst themselves and had the same mahogany skin, dark eyes and dark brown to black hair. Two of the girls, one curvy with long, gently curly hair and the other tall and thin with straight hair, had their arms entwined with two of the boys’. The curvy one was wearing a pink ensemble--complete with a skirt, cardigan and cure ballet flats--that hugged her body playfully as she looked at her boyfriend lovingly. He wore a dark striped flannel shirt over an ash grey wife-beater, eccentric belt buckle that was holding his jeans up over his etnies. He wore a dark tee with tattered jeans that fell over his etnies slightly. The skinny one and her mate looked more adult-like than their counterpart with a pair of grey slacks and a matching blazer hiding whatever kind of shirt was underneath. Her boyfriend looked classy in a pair of jeans with a nice polo hugging his torso and loafers on his feet. One of the lone boys was on the outer edge, the youngest by his appearance. He had the longest hair out of the four boys and was walking next to one of the couples. He was matching his brother but his attire was a few shades lighter. The last girl was on the other side of the pack next to the other couple. She and the tall, skinny girl looked like sisters but her hair was cut to her mid neck and puffed out playfully. She dressed like her sister with an alternative flair. The other lone boy was in the center and had short hair like the others; he had an air about him that he was the pack’s alpha by his actions and the actions of those who surrounded him. His dark leather jacket was covering a grey shirt and jeans. It hugged his body slightly showing off a pair of wonderfully sculpted arms. His feet were covered by a  pair of etnies that matched the boys to his right. His dark hair was spiked into a slight faux hawk and his eyes, lighter than the others, were[.]

DAY-UM. Look at all that purple. And that first paragraph? Words cannot describe how much I want to headdesk. The separate paragraph was for Jace if anyone was wondering. The last group? Not as purple but still pretty purple.

It was a trio: two girls and a boy. Each had eyes like fresh blood and all three were decked out in black. The boy had brown hair that was styled like a mop under a black hood that belonged to his sweatshirt. His legs were hidden from the world by dark slacks and combat boots. The girl to his immediate left looked to be the same year as he was and the other looked to be either a first or second former. The older girl was hiding under a black parasol with the younger girl to her left and had strawberry blond hair that I wasn’t quite sure how long it really was because it was tied back into a super tight bun at the nape of her neck. She wore thick platform boots with a fancy black dress where the camisole hugged her tight frame and the skirt flared out like a tutu and thick platform boots. The younger girl’s hair was like that of the boy, deep brown, and curled down to her lower waist in gentle ringlets. She wore a Wednesday style dress and hid under the parasol with her sister.

Lisa Loring (L) and Christina Ricci (R)

And the 'Wednesday style dress' was supposed to be a not-so-subtle nod to Wednesday Addams from the Addams Family. I LOVED the live action show from the '60's and the films from the '90's. I almost always tuned in to watch it whenever there was a marathon on TV Land or on Halloween when ABCFamily when they'd air the movies during their more recent joke of  '13 Nights of Halloween.' (Semi rant related to 13 Nights: the 13 Nights from when I was a kid, was actually scary not filled with overly dramatic shows with a supernatural aspect or Harry Potter--not knocking my beloved Harry Potter, but it seems the Disney-owned ABCFamily plays it every chance they get...) She was also my favourite character too. Now, in my own place, I don't get a station that shows them and I have to go out of my way to watch them (internet, mostly but I'll occasionally go back to my parents house).

Anyway, Artie and Sam are caught skipping 'the third time this week' and are forced to go back to class. I go into yet another info dump on how this school freaking looks but, this is different. This is about food:

We passed the café and courtyard. It was an eight hundred square foot room with various tables scattered around it. There were two booths on either side where someone could order various kinds of Latin American, Asian, European and American delicacies for lunch. As I passed the double doors, the sweet scent of chicken teriyaki filled my nostrils and made my mouth water. He pulled me away from the doors and I felt my stomach scream for some of the Japanese Hibachi.

Coincidentally, I also worked a bit of my own personality into my Mary-Sue Artie. I am a big fan of Japanese food. Well any Asian food to be honest. If you can name it, I've probably tried it at least once. Makes my mouth water just thinking about it. Ah. Let's move on.

So this grump leads Artie and Sam to Runes class and I introduce another character into the story: Ms. Johannsen. I think I named her after an old teacher of mine. She was really cool and I wanted to pay homage to her. I also liked how I described her, even if it was somewhat purple:

“Ms. Johannsen,” the elderly man smiled at a young witch who was standing at a green chalk board writing something along the lines of an Anglo-Saxon poem about two long lost lovers. she had light golden hair that was beginning to fade that fell straight to her shoulders before flipping a little at the ends. Her grey eyes were rimmed with cat eye glasses with lizard skin decals. Her attire matched her glasses with an emerald alligator business suit complete with skirt, a flashy camisole underneath a blazer, and a pair of pointed witches’ shoes with a buckle on the outsides with runes etched into the metal. If only she were three feet taller, then she would be like the daughter of Godzilla.

That last line is what I liked about it. Snarky younger Ali is Snarky. I'll probably use that line in the third chapter of Black Cat Curse. Though the last sentence of her description doesn't do her much justice in the following conversation afterward. The Godzilla line makes her seem angry and a forbodeing yet she seems like a cool teacher:

“You didn’t miss much. It was just a work day.” She rolled her eyes. “Did you see the new transfers?”“Yeah. Twenty first former sorcerers, seven second to forth former Lycans and a trio of Vampyres--”“There were more but we got caught.” Samhain interrupted me.“Well next time, don’t set someone on fire, Samhain.” Ms. Johannsen shook her head. “Especially first formers.” 

She still chides her students like other teachers but seems very laid back. She also has special powers that are outside her witch-y powers: she can read minds with a touch. This was when I was going through my Twilight phase. I was never a 'Twihard' but I read the books. Hated Bella. Loved Alice. It shouldn't be considered a 'masterpiece' but SMeyer managed to get a successful movie franchise from it so there's some merit from it.

A good chunk of the next few scenes are just garbage meant to cause drama and intrigue: Artie makes plans with Ms. Johannsen for a special sessions because she has special powers too (I can't remember what they are) and Noel (pronounced 'nole') is introduced as a possible interest and romantic rival of Sam. The plus side of this, is we finally get to meet Athene:

"What was that all about?" Athene asked. She was the silent sister out of our trio. Aphrodite was the flirt and I was, to some extent, the rebel. She looked small in her Animus sweater. For some reason, she acquired hers in a size five times too large to the point where it draped to her knees and the sleeves fell way beyond her hands. She wore a pair of torn jeans and ratty sneakers that looked like they were once at a thrift store and were long past broken in. her long light red hair was pulled back into a tight bun and her playful emerald eyes were hidden behind a pair of dark glasses.

I liked Athene. And not because I named her after my friend. I liked her character. She was sweet and kind and reminded me a lot of myself. She also had a really sweet yet tragic plot that I really like and have been considering using elsewhere... most likely it'll work its way into the Black trilogy some how.

Back to the novel, Sam returns to badger Artie about what their Runes instructor was asking about. Artie shrugs it off telling him she'll talk to him later about it and it can't really be spoken about in public, again bringing up the 'life or death' aspect that somehow floats through the whole story that's so short I feel like I shouldn't really call it a 'novel.' The whole 'life or death' theme that is so omnipresent reminds me of a lot of published Young Adult novels I've happened upon so far. It's as if they aren't dramatic enough so they have to add something along the lines of 'I have to choose between cake or death.'  (Eddie Izzard anyone?)

I keep forgetting this is a NaNo novel with all the purple in it. Here's how I describe how this supernatural world works:

When we had two annual banquets: one at the beginning of the year and one at the end. Both took place in the Caf and the magics teachers would work their magic to make it look like something out of a fairy tale within the matter of hours. The booths that once held the Latin, American, European and Asian foods disappeared and the multicolored Caf took on a placid gold color and candles flickered with life in various chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. the various tables turned into three long wooden tables sitting vertically parallel to each other and one was parallel to the rest where the teachers all sat. the Vampyres sat at the table closest to the door, the Lycans on the other side and the Sorcerers in the center. Just so you know that whole thing about Vampyres and Lycans hating each other doesn’t exist. It was Hollywood that turned the races against each other. Not all Vampyres are evil, beautiful, sex addicts. Not all Lycans are brooding, paranoid sociopaths. Not all Sorcerers sit over a century’s old caldron talking about bubbles, toils and troubles. And both Vampyres and Lycans can be made AND born.

In the Followers universe, Vampires aren't born, they can only be made--with a few exceptions but that's all 'first and second generation.' Werewolves cannot be made, they are born--again, with an exception of one particular 'wolf. Like with most of my novels and the realms they encompass, the Followers has gone through several rewrites before it's at where it is now.

Despite my insane hatred for prose that is purple, I like how I described some of the characters in here. For example, the German teacher, Herr Elfers:

He had a slight German accent in his tenor-like voice. He was tall and had a skinny frame. I find most tall and skinny people look quite awkward but he set my ideas straight by reminding me of a swan. He had true grace, a grace that made me wonder how he does it. His hair looked a mixture of grey and white which made me think of what color his hair once was in his youth. 

I don't want to repeatedly bore you all with this purple prose so I cut part of the intro and the ending. Besides, the portion I showed you is what I seriously liked. I may have been writing purple by there are a lot of descriptions of people I liked.

For example, there are three Headmasters/mistress: Marianne Lohve for the Sorcerers, Dorian Rosk for Vampyres, and Lucien Lykaios for Lycans. Each is different in that they are different species yet they're all the same with one aspect: their names come from old stories. Lohve was from a Gen Fic I tried writing where the lead was trying to unite everyone in her school after her brother's sudden death. Rosk and Lykaios were both characters in an early incarnation of the Followers universe by the name of Lucifer's Army. This universe wasn't separated into three different series that spanned from the turn of the 20th century and the turn of the 21st century. Instead, it was at the close of this universe.

When the Headmasters/mistress are introduced, it's this big feast and all is merry. The students head back to their dorms and the witches and warlocks are sorted into their respected houses. I actually like how this went down:

The sorting was in the first floor practice room with four pedestals with random items: a fountain, a piece of volcanic rock, a bonsai tree, and a dark navy candle. Each student was to stand in the middle and one of the objects would spring to life some how and that represents their house. Several students stood in the center and the candle would produce a black flame for those in Animus, the fountain would spring to life for Unda, the Bonsai tree would grow for Humus, and the rock would flicker for Incenda. 

Pretty intuitive if I do say so.

And that's where the story ends. What I had planned for it depending on each character:

• Artemis: She and her band would try to figure out who is kidnapping students and stop them before they kill them all while trying to prevent her mysterious special powers from getting out of hand. She'd get into a love triangle between Sam and Jace. (see Samhain and Jace)
• Aphrodite: A melodramatic love triangle between Tristan, Sam's elder brother, and Kristian. She'd eventually break up with Kris to return to Tristan.
• Athene: She would fall in love with a human. Artemis would later find out about him and vowed to keep their relationship a secret. He'd eventually die before the final battle and she'd choose a life of celibacy.
• Samhain: He'd be fighting along side Artemis all while hiding this secret that he loves her. After she's forcibly spurned (see below), she'd discover that she loves him too. 
• Jace: After his xenophobic elder sister, Winona, discovers he's getting romantically involved with a girl who isn't a werewolf, he's forced home and forced into a relationship with another werewolf who is captured by the evil entity that would eventually become the Illuminati seen in the Van Helsing Trilogy.

My first NaNo novel was an experiment. I had no desire to publish it. Still, I spent a the majority of a month planning the first chapter,which was a poor choice on my part, and researching for it. This experiment lead me to doing a basic outline the next year, which worked really well... when I worked on it. I've continued to do the basic with the Guardian Heir and now with Cerulean. I may not be doing NaNo this year, but it has always been a nice adventure and a great learning experience... when I stick too it. 

As Always,

Ali